Saturday, August 12, 2017

Saturday

Good morning my friends. I just wanted to let you know what went on with my time in Toronto. MaryLou & I arrived in Toronto and settled in our hotel. This city is crazy. After going to sleep, we were woken up at 2:00 am for this crazy sound. It was the fire alarm. They eventually found out that there wasn't a fire so at 3:00am we finally got back to sleep.
The next day I arrived at St. Michael's Hospital and at 10:00 am my first test began on the 7th floor, Bond Wing. It was called a Echocardiogram. I was about my heart. it took about 30 minutes. After that they wanted to put some thing in my arm that would go to my heart to check and see how it was working but unfortunately after 3 times trying to put it in my veins, they were unable to do so. I guess my veins are hard to find for this test.After an hour I was finished. Now to my next test. I went to 6th floor Donnelly Wing for papers then to 3rd floor Shuter wing for blood work to be done. Luckily, a great nurse was able to take my blood. I asked was couldn't the last test wasn't able to do it. She said it's easier to take blood out then putting something into the veins. Later I went to 3rd floor, Cardinal Carter Wind for Chest x - rays. After we had to wait until 3:00 pm to see the main doctor. After talking with the doctor, He said he wants we back in about two months for another CT scan or MRI about my lungs and that should be about that. 
I didn't want to go back but I would be worried about it if I don't so I'm going back unfortunately for this lat test. I'm so exhausted at the moment. I just thought I'd let you all where I'm at. See ya my friends.


                             " Cruisin Paul "

Monday, August 7, 2017

Cloudy Monday

Good, good, good Monday morning everyone my friends. Well this is ging to be an interesting week. As I've already said, I leave by train to Toronto to have some tests done on me. I'll be back on Friday and then on Saturday my wife & I go to Sarnia for her family reunion. We'll stay over night and come back on Sunday. What a week. So I won't be able to read any of your wonderful blogs until I remain. 

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An Italian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to Italy on business for
two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security
for the loan, so the Italian hands over the keys to a new Ferrari.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Italian
produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees
to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
Italian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Italian returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says,
"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this
Transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"


The Italian replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car
for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"



The Italian Secret to a Long Marriage.
At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husbands' marriage seminars.
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands,'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary !'
The priest responded,'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here ! Please tell us now what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary ?'
Giuseppe proudly replied, "I gonna go pick her up "


The proper way to putt...

This Italian bloke had never played golf before and so asked for some tips before starting the game. An American player decided to teach the Italian the proper way to putt a golf ball. The American said, "You take this stick and hit the balls so that they roll into the hole". The American putted away and sank the ball from 20 feet in a single stroke. The Italian replied, "In America, you leave your sticka outta and a putta your balls in da hole, but in Italia, we put our sticka inna da hole and leave our balls out"!

The Funeral

A Italian businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, "Luigi, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the IRS...and write on the envelope, 'Now you have everything."

The Prayer

Did you hear about the 21 year old Italian girl who knelt in front of the statue of Madonna? She said: "You who conceived without sin, let me sin without conceiving!"

How to Impress an Italian Lady:

Wine her, dine her, hug her, support her, compliment her, suprise her, smile at her, hold her, romance her, laugh with her, shop with her, cuddle her, go to the end of the earth for her... How to Impress an Italian Man: Show up naked, Bring Beer.


An Italian man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely Italian women. He gives each Italian woman a present of $500 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The Italian man was very impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the Italian man gifts. She gets him a new Italian suit, some new shoes for his Italian suit, and an expensive Italian tie. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the Italian man is impressed.

The third Italian woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $500. She gives him back his $500 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the Italian man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.



A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."
Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."
The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women!"



An old Italian man was dying, so he called his grandson to his bedside: “Guido, I wan’ you to lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
“But grandpa, I really don’t like guns... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?”
“You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business. You gonna have a beautiful wife. Lotsa money. A big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos.”
“Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, ‘Times up!’"?


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Enjoy, enjpy the Italian jokes because I enjoy an Italian joke. Why? Because I'm and Italian. Arrivederci!


                             " SEE YA "  


                            " Cruisin Paul " 

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Bright, Sunny Thursday

Good Thursday morning my friends. Wow, Thursday to Thursday. I guess I been a little lazy about my blog. Sorry about that. This week I went to Best Buy and bought a I Pod Nano and ear phones. I wanted to have something that would have music for me while I'm on airplane and the cruise while I'm laying around. My problem is that I'm not sure how to use the darn thing getting that music. I'm not to good with things like these. I hope that my daughter will help me with it.

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One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep.
"Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory"
Paddy shook his head. "Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned"
Mrs McMillen starts crying. "Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?"
Paddy shakes his head. "Not really - he got out 3 times to pee!"


An Irishman was flustered not being able to find a parking space in a large mall's parking lot.
"Lord,"he prayed,"I can't stand this.If you open a space up for me,I swear I'll give up drinking me whiskey, and I promise to go to church every Sunday."
Suddenly, the clouds parted and the sun shone on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man said,"Never mind,I found one."

                                              -------------------------------------------------------

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"



Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father.
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go on a trip right now."




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That' it for today. I hope that you all have a wonderful Thursday.


" SEE YA "


" Cruisin Paul "  

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Dry Lawn Thursday

Good Thursday morning everyone. It's 8:55 in the morning and after checking on John Heald's Facebook, I'm now writing my blog.
I went to see my chiropractor yesterday and my body is still feeling great after seeing him. Last night Al & Meilin were over and Meilin informed us that they would take us to the train station to go to Toronto. Yes, my hospital time is coming. Eveyone has been telling me not to worry about it so I'm listening to them, a little. LOL
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Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

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A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?" 

 

A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."

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A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?" 

 

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?" "That's obvious," the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."


 After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. “Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, 'Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, son, we have never had a single problem." Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian. “Try these on,” she said. Brian went along with it and tried them on, but they were far too small. “What’s the point of this? I can’t get into your panties,” said Brian. “Exactly,” Jill replied, “and if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!”

    ( I think all men changed their attitudes. Ha,ha,ha. )
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Well that's it for today. I hope that you all enjoy Thursday.


                                 " SEE YA "

  
                                     " Cruisin Paul " 

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Blessed Sunday

Good morning everyone. I kno it has been awhile, about a week since I did my blog. I went outside to wash my Camero and I unfortunately was out in the sun far to long and it did a crazy thing with my body and head. I was a little sick but I'm back to normal.
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When you are in Hospital, your friends ask - “Hey, how are you dear?”
But your best friend ask - “Hey buddy, how is the nurse?”
Paul and his best friend were coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed his friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

Paul's friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."


A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married?

Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least on girl that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was one girl .. once. I guess she was the one perfect girl.

The only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything .. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.

"She was looking for the perfect man," he said. 
 
 

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."

"You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.

"I am" replies the man. "How did you know."

"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of

your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says "You must be a manager."

"I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."



Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon. For a long time, they could not decide upon any game. Suddenly, Jenny had an idea. She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. "Let's play schools".

"OK!" said Jinny. "But I'm going to be absent."



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Since it's Sunday we are going out for breakfast and I've been called from my wife. She's ready to leave so I better to go or they will leave without me.
 
                               " SEE YA "
 
 
                        " Cruisin Paul "

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Rainy, Wet Thursday

Good Thursday morning every one. Well today is a very special day. Today is my wife's and mine 43 rd Anniversary. I never thought that we would ever reach this day especially in 1977 having my stroke and my family being told that I was never death. So, with some tears in my eyes this morning, I'm so proud that we ere able to reach this special day.  
                Paul & MaryLou Pietrangelo
                                    43 years
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                 ( By the way, this isn't me )


Have long marriages

Some people ask the secret of Anthony's long marriage.

They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home.

The Mrs. goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays.


                                              ------------------------------------

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"

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Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.
Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'
Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.'
Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?'
Pharmacist: 'All kinds.'
Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? '
Pharmacist: 'Definitely.'
Jacob: 'How about Viagra?'
Pharmacist: 'Of course.'
Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'
Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.'
Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'
Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.'
Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'
Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.'
Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.' 


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This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, ”Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.” The doctor smiled and said, ”Have you tried to give him Viagra?” The lady frowned. ”Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she claimed. ”Well,” the doctor continued, ”Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won’t notice a thing.” The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor’s office quickly. Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head. ”How did it go?” the doctor asked. ”Terrible, doctor, terrible.” ”Did it not work?” ”Yes,” the old lady said, ”It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I’d had in 25 years.” ”Then what is the problem, ma’am?” ”Well,” she said. ”I can’t ever show my face in McDonald’s again.

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SEX IN THE JUNGLE
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was, and he said, "Oh,Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have that all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground, and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, pointing, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Tarzan check for bees!"



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Well that's it for today. My wife and I will be going out for a special dinner and then back home. After that we are going up to bed and after 43 years, what do you think we are going to do? You're correct, we're going to sleep. Enjoy your day my friends. 
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                                 " SEE YA "

                           " Cruisin Paul "