Thursday, July 27, 2017

Dry Lawn Thursday

Good Thursday morning everyone. It's 8:55 in the morning and after checking on John Heald's Facebook, I'm now writing my blog.
I went to see my chiropractor yesterday and my body is still feeling great after seeing him. Last night Al & Meilin were over and Meilin informed us that they would take us to the train station to go to Toronto. Yes, my hospital time is coming. Eveyone has been telling me not to worry about it so I'm listening to them, a little. LOL

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?" 


A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."


A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?" 


Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?" "That's obvious," the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."

 After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. “Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, 'Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, son, we have never had a single problem." Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian. “Try these on,” she said. Brian went along with it and tried them on, but they were far too small. “What’s the point of this? I can’t get into your panties,” said Brian. “Exactly,” Jill replied, “and if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!”

    ( I think all men changed their attitudes. Ha,ha,ha. )

Well that's it for today. I hope that you all enjoy Thursday.

                                 " SEE YA "

                                     " Cruisin Paul " 


  1. I must have missed something. What are you having done at the hospital?

    The meme with the logs rolling off...that's me!

    1. Jean, you didn't miss anything. I'm not having anything other then 4 tests to be done.

  2. Surgery? I must have missed the surgery. I've been very busy. I'm sure you'll post more at some point. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

    Love all the jokes especially the BBQ one. I like her attitude.

    Have a fabulous day, Paul. ☺

    1. There is no surgery. Just 4 things to check on me involving things that could be in my lungs and other things inside of me that pertained things about my stroke. Sorry if I left anything pertaining to my visit to the hospital.

  3. Your jokes always make my day, and i am praying all goes well with your tests.

    1. Thanks Mimi. I'm sure that all things will go well. ( Knock on wood )

  4. Hi Pauleo sorry I'm late, you can add me to try not to worry too much and I hope all goes well :-)

    I laughed at the jokes crikey can you imagine that log heading straight for you LOL

    That last quote is very true :-)

    Have a great weekend Pauleo ;-)

    1. Thanks Steveo. By the way my friend, what does crikey mean? I know that British and Australian people say the word but I could never figure what it means. See ya.

  5. Funny jokes. I hope everything goes well with your hospital tests. Have a great new week!

  6. That log hauler scares me. I have the same fear. I'm not sure which photo weirds me out more; the cat or the log hauler.


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