Saturday, October 7, 2017

A Warm Saturday With Rain

Good morning you wonderful people. I hope that you are doing well. Me, well I went and played 18 holes of  golf in the rain yesterday. Ohhhh it was so wonderful. I was wet when I got home. You say, why didn't you get out of the rain? Well when I get a chance to play golf, you play golf no matter what. Only if lightning occur and it didn't have any lightning. Was I crazy? Yes I was. Oh well I'm dried up today.
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Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!" 



A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."  




A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, "It's my husband, you have to leave!" The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, "Wait, I'm your husband!" She replies giving him a dirty look, "So why did you run?" 


A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father. They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine. The doctor starts it off at 20% split towards the father. The wife says, "Oh, that's actually better." The husband says he can't feel anything. Then the doctor turns it to 50% and the wife says that it doesn't hurt nearly as much. The husband says he sill can't feel anything. The Doctor, now encouraged, turns it up to 100%. The husband still can't feel anything, and the wife is really happy, because there is now no pain for her. The baby is born. The couple go home and find the postman groaning in pain on the doorstep.  



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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing. 

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A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably, "My wife missed the bus."

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Well that's about it for today. I hope that you enjoyed all the funny things that were in my blog. 


" SEE YA "

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" Cruisin Paul "
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9 comments:

  1. Those Italian babies never the end are really funny.

    Glad you got another golf game in before winter. My dad would golf in the rain, too. He golf every single day in retirement.

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    1. Jean, I enjoy golfing but I'd rather golf in a warm day about 75 degrees but golf is golf. See ya.

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  2. My wife missed the bus. Bwahahahahahahaha.

    I'm so happy you got to play golf again. Good for you.

    Have a fabulous weekend, Paul. ☺

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    1. I thought that joke was funny too. See ya Sandee.

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  3. I am glad you stuck with the golf and not let the rain stop you :-)

    LOL @ the jokes they were all funny I must say I hope his wife don't get to hear what he said about missing the bus LOL

    Have a tanfastic day Pauleo :-)

    PS: Brolly = Umbrella

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    1. Brolly? Why don't you just say umbrella. ha,ha,ha. Since I've seen John Heald (Carnival),He's taught many British words such as cookie here there biscuit. Interesting isn't it? See ya Steveo.

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  4. Heeheehee! Your jokes are a guaranteed day brightener!

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    1. Especially in a rainy day right? See ya Mimi.

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  5. That poor postman. Never knew what hit him.

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Thanks for commenting!