Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Warm Up & After 12 Inches Of Snow

Good morning friends. After a messy time it has armed up and the snow is melting, not much but a little. BUT, on Friday we are suppose to  receive a wallop of snow. They say around 12 inches. I have 19 days still to wait for my cruise.

Alexandra was walking along a Boulevard, involved in a prayer. He asked God for one wish. Suddenly, the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, God said, "Because you have had the faith to ask, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Italy, so I can drive over anytime I want to."
God was in awkward situation. God said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. All the technology needed to reach the bottom of the ocean! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Think for sometime and ask another wish."
Alexandra thought for a while and then said, "God, I have been married and divorced three times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. Here is my wish: I would like to know how to make an Italian woman happy."
The God went in heavy thought mode, and said, "OK, son, you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Emma, who was on a sinking ship, was thinking, ?I?m too young to die.? Then, she yelled at the people around, ?Well, if I?m going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this ship who can make me feel like a woman??
For a moment, there was silence.. No response came for a while.
Then an Italian man stood up. He was gorgeous, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He started to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt? button at a time. ??No one moved. ??He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest. ?..
She gasps???..
He whispers: ??.
?Iron this, and get me something to eat?.?  

Three friends, an architect, an artist and an Italian engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with your wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The Italian engineer said, "I likea both."
"Both?" But, how? Asked other two.
Engineer: "If you have a wife and a mistress, both of them assume you are spending time with the other woman. You can go to the lab and get some work done." 

Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked, "Who killed Jesus Christ?"
The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left.
When the Polish man arrived for his interview, he was asked the exact same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tommorrow."
When the Polish man arrived home, his wife asked "How did The interview go?" He replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder!"


 Well that's about it for today. Enjoy the day.

                                  " SEE YA "

                            " Cruisin Paul "



  1. Wow, that coffee pot and frying pan are something else! You'd have to have muscles to lift them.

    Get your groceries stocked up for those 12 inches of snow. I am sick of winter. Do you think you and your wife could pass me off as piece of luggage on your cruise?

    1. Sorry Jean. I wish I could take a third piece of luggage. Better have the shovels out.

  2. With that much snow, i know you are going to love being gone on a vacation.

    Loved the funnies, especially the Italian engineer!

    1. You know Mimi, my mind is already gone. It's just mind body that hasn't left to the Cruise yet. ha,ha,ha.

  3. Hahaha loved the jokes the grandma breakfast is typical LOL

    Hope you don't get too cold with the next bout when it arrives :-)

    Not long to go now the sea is getting nearer heheh!

    Thanks for all your visits Pauleo much appreciated

    1. No problem my friend. I feel proud that I have a friend in London, England. It's just to bad that we can't meet since it's a big distance. As far as the sea, I CAN"T WAIT.

  4. I love that big breakfast. Sort of like the buffet on a cruise ship :) Perhaps I can take that bridge to Italy?

    1. I don't think I would be able to have breakfast like that. It's to small. Ha,ha,ha. See ya Rhonda.

  5. Good jokes. I like the Italian engineer! Looks like you are ready for your cruise! Enjoy your cruise and have a good time!


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